Questions..

tick tock, tick tock. Its 5:42 AM.

My pillow was soaked, I thought it rained and my celiing was dripping and I remembered my room does not have holes in the ceiling. I started to touch my cheeks and they were wet, I caressed my fingers through my face and I realized, I woke up crying.

The night before:

Overlooking the city of cebu, with a cup of coffee in one hand a cigarette on the other. Sitting on the other side of the table a friend, giving me advise on how to look at things at a more positive light.

8:13 PM - SMS received:

"Sorry for the late reply, I just got load and I was feeling groggy the whole day. Thanks, I really do appreciate your sentiments. I have grown fond of Daniel, but he's not gay. He's only here for a few days so Im hanging out with him. "

Crushed.

The night went on and some pictures were taken. Sadness pierced through my eyes.

6:00 AM

My alarms were set off, noise begins to echo around my room. I continue to cry, hugging my pillow and I keep telling myself I'll be fine. The sheets on my bed have been crumpled as I curl into a fetal position, still hugging my pillow, wanting to scream, but I cant. I stood up, I fell to my knees as they kept on shaking. I try to cry as much as I can, but it seems that my eyes were dried up.

Took my shorts off, I walked accross the room and grabbed my bath towel. Walked accross the kitchen into the bathroom with nothing but  my birthday suit. Placed a cigarette delicately between my middle finger and my index finger and lit it. As I inhale the first smoke a sudden hiccup.

As ashes were starting to fall on the bathroom floor, I was staring at the tub of water, and I see my reflection. There it was, my eyes were as red as blood. My head just keeps on telling me that I need to focus on what's ahead of me. My Career, My Future, My Dream.

Stepped out of the bathroom, soaked. I wiped myself with my towel. Up, down, sideways. Started to get dressed, wore a blue shirt to work put my glasses and my headphones on and went to work.

Questions...