Dead End.

 
I listen to songs all day, to keep me from falling apart. I once told a friend that If I'm going through something I listen to the saddest songs on my playlist; Knowing that the songs end, so will this feeling of emptiness. 
As time pass by I get older but 
I dont know if I am getting any wiser because up until now, 
I always end to up following the same footsteps I did before. 


Up until now, Im still clueless, sad, and confused. I dont know what I want. 
I dont know where Im going. At times I want to go somewhere, but I dont know where to start. 


I just wish it would be easier to let things go. I keep on saying to myself that if other people can let it go then why can't I? What's holding me back? What's keeping me from reaching my maximum potential? What? What? What?!


"Ill never get over you getting over me" - This song is playing on the background while Im writing this and there's this one line there that struck me. 


"I know I ought to find someone new, but all I find is myself always thinking of you"


Well I couldnt say that, cause right now Im thinking of all of them. Every single person I fell in love with, but sadly none of them really returned the favor. 


I tell people to love themselves more before they could learn to love someone unconditionally, But now I dont know if I still do. Everytime I look at the mirror all I see is someone who is miserable and probably going to be miserable for the rest of his pathetic life. In short, I just pity myself. 


They say that there's a light at the end of the tunnel up until now, Im still searching for it. I wonder when Ill find it.