Its been awhile since I saw you.
I remembered the first time we met, It was a rainy night. I was late. It was one of the best 2 weeks of my life. Then you came back, It was raining too, you spent another 2 weeks here. I wonder what that means. Am I only allowed to see you 2 weeks at a time?
The first few minutes in the cab, We talked about how things were before. Those were really fun. I miss that.
Checked in the same hotel, you showed me your tattoo you said "I got the inspiration from me" You also said you became more outgoing, more carefree since you have met me and now you are enjoying life. Getting drunk, humiliating yourself, going out with people you don't trust is not fun, This is how teenagers are when they have fun. But I guess I cant blame you, You didn't have a lot of fun when you were in college so this is the time for you to catch up. You changed, Its like you have turned your life 180 degrees since I last saw you. You are more open to date guys but still date girls at the same time and that's one thing I admire about you. You know what you want.
While we were talking, Did you even ask me how I was?
What about me? Did you even notice any changes? Did you even know how much you have hurt me? Did you even know how much of me you took with you? I couldn't tell you that. I had to show you that I was alright. I had to tell you that Ill be okay.
The night I saw you again, it took a lot of control for me not to show any emotion to you. You were the last person I loved and still love up until now. You were the one I wanted to spend my whole life with, sadly you didn't feel the same. You always tell me Ill never lose a special place in your heart. How long would this last? Do I still continue hoping? Am I wrong to dream that one day you and I would end up together? Will you be the last person I see on my death bed? Will you be the last person I say I love you to and really mean it?
Amy Winehouse said "Love is a losing game" she's right, because I have never won at it. Its been such a long time since I knew how it feels to be happy.
Friends ask me, why I hold on to these feelings? Why do I keep hurting myself? Why cant I let it go?
I tell them, Out of all the pain I went through in my life, I feel nothing. Ive learned to adapt these things. But there's one thing that still hurts me, and that's remembering people I loved and how I was happy with them and in the end they end up leaving me. That's the only pain I feel! I like to remember them because it keeps me sane, still makes me feel human instead of someone walking around pretending to be happy and yet he possesses a stone cold heart. Numb and Jaded.
If only I had the courage to say this to your right now, but Im afraid Ill lose you. Since I cant, Ill just write it down.
I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME LOVE YOU
I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME
I HATE YOU FOR BRINGING MY HOPES UP
I HATE YOU FOR TAKING ME FOR GRANTED
AND MOST OF ALL I HATE YOU, because up until now I still love you...
I remembered the first time we met, It was a rainy night. I was late. It was one of the best 2 weeks of my life. Then you came back, It was raining too, you spent another 2 weeks here. I wonder what that means. Am I only allowed to see you 2 weeks at a time?
The first few minutes in the cab, We talked about how things were before. Those were really fun. I miss that.
Checked in the same hotel, you showed me your tattoo you said "I got the inspiration from me" You also said you became more outgoing, more carefree since you have met me and now you are enjoying life. Getting drunk, humiliating yourself, going out with people you don't trust is not fun, This is how teenagers are when they have fun. But I guess I cant blame you, You didn't have a lot of fun when you were in college so this is the time for you to catch up. You changed, Its like you have turned your life 180 degrees since I last saw you. You are more open to date guys but still date girls at the same time and that's one thing I admire about you. You know what you want.
While we were talking, Did you even ask me how I was?
What about me? Did you even notice any changes? Did you even know how much you have hurt me? Did you even know how much of me you took with you? I couldn't tell you that. I had to show you that I was alright. I had to tell you that Ill be okay.
The night I saw you again, it took a lot of control for me not to show any emotion to you. You were the last person I loved and still love up until now. You were the one I wanted to spend my whole life with, sadly you didn't feel the same. You always tell me Ill never lose a special place in your heart. How long would this last? Do I still continue hoping? Am I wrong to dream that one day you and I would end up together? Will you be the last person I see on my death bed? Will you be the last person I say I love you to and really mean it?
Amy Winehouse said "Love is a losing game" she's right, because I have never won at it. Its been such a long time since I knew how it feels to be happy.
Friends ask me, why I hold on to these feelings? Why do I keep hurting myself? Why cant I let it go?
I tell them, Out of all the pain I went through in my life, I feel nothing. Ive learned to adapt these things. But there's one thing that still hurts me, and that's remembering people I loved and how I was happy with them and in the end they end up leaving me. That's the only pain I feel! I like to remember them because it keeps me sane, still makes me feel human instead of someone walking around pretending to be happy and yet he possesses a stone cold heart. Numb and Jaded.
If only I had the courage to say this to your right now, but Im afraid Ill lose you. Since I cant, Ill just write it down.
I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME LOVE YOU
I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME
I HATE YOU FOR BRINGING MY HOPES UP
I HATE YOU FOR TAKING ME FOR GRANTED
AND MOST OF ALL I HATE YOU, because up until now I still love you...
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