A dream can always be turned into reality if you just believe in it and do all the necessary steps to make sure that it happens. But what happens if you hit a wall? Do you keep on fighting? If you do, and it still takes a longer time to fulfill that dream. When do you stop?
In life Practicality gets us by, however being realistic and practical can lead to a rather mediocre life. You go to work from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM, after that you come home to your wife or partner. Eat dinner, go to sleep and do it all over again the next day. I've been told numerous times that I have to be practical but I keep on thinking, what happens next? Yes, Ill go get an office job and be great at it, but is it worth keeping? Is that going to help me grow as a person? Will I choose to be mediocre? Or will I stand up for something that I am passionate about and make a difference?
People like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs these are people who have been rejected numerous times but yet they chose to go through alot of shit to fulfill their dreams. Take note, these are all ordinary people. Genius or not, they are all like us. What makes them different than most of us is that they never gave up. So why should we?
I have been drenched with a lot of negative thoughts for the past 3 months and yet, there is still that small part of my head that continues to hope that things will turn out for the better. My brain works just like Pandora's box; all the negative things in the world that I could think of comes to mind, but at the very end of all that negativity lies hope.
Lately I have been thinking about shutting myself from the world and just try to have more time for myself. I have started to do that and so far, I'm feeling a little better. I'm starting to have a little peace of mind. This means that I would only get to hang out with the friends that I find that are worth my time and vice versa. Unfortunately, some of those friends are always with people who I don't particularly call as "friends" but like "Yes, I know him and we hang out but we're not exactly friends"
I deactivated a social media account today, and a good friend told me that the people that really matters to you will stay with you no matter what, and this gives you a liberating feeling of getting rid of all the negative, irritating,ignorant and stupid people out of your life. And I did that for 24 hours and I couldn't agree more. I'll still log in to it from time to time but I'll make sure to just stay away from it to keep me from thinking negative things again and how humanity has lost its way (i.e. suicide over Boyband break up posts; Useless selfies; News about the Kardashians)
I feel a sense of relief and joy when I spend my time writing alone. It gives me all the space I need to just be myself without anyone judging me or telling me what I'm doing wrong. Everytime I tell someone my story, I feel like I'm being judged for being stubborn and is just focusing on one thing. I would never expect anyone to understand me, heck sometimes I don't even understand myself. All I want is someone to listen without interjecting their own experiences into mine because its never the same.
There are some friends who will shove you off your high horse and tell you to wake up and think about what's happening around you. Some of them will never feel the way you do about something simply because they forgot what it's like to be really passionate about one thing and they just gave up on what they want to do because they have to care for someone else or think about paying their bills and feed mouths. But to what extent do we have to sacrifice our own happiness so we can make others happy?
As I am writing this, possibilities are endlessly popping out of my head. I wish I could be this positive all the time, but that's just not how my mind works. Perhaps I should try meditating, once I figure out how to shut my thoughts that that would be great! I'll just have to wait and see how long this positive energy will last.
Well said Josh.
ReplyDeleteI quit Facebook just over 3 months ago for no other reason than to see if I can live without it. I found myself so irritated and angry about things that I really shouldn't be. I found time to look at myself and work on myself without conforming to social media's idea of perfection. I logged back in recently and found within half an hour all the rage I had let dissipate was rapidly resurfacing and only reinforced my previous concerns and again I left.
I'm proud of you, and hope this experience will allow you the time you need to give yourself the full attention you deserve. Keep dreaming hard as the goals you work to attain will surely be granted.. and maybe they will change, maybe they too will evolve and the key to your happiness may result in something much simpler but the path is yours to walk.
I would consider myself as one of the "mediocre" life livers you mentioned.. Mainly because I never have been career driven, my happiness and achievements stem from basic and everyday joys, a partner to come home to, relaxing holidays, a gathering of friends or even the next episode of a favourite TV show.. through this path I've ended up with a job I highly enjoy though was never envisaged on the path I was to walk. Still, finding the most minute thing to look forward to helps keep the darkness at bay. When it takes ahold of you, even at its darkest the thoughts you have however horrific are still proof enough that a life is capable of so much should you will it.
Keep writing, keep dreaming, your fire my dim and your flame may flicker but even if that fire in your soul burns out, hold on, for without the ashes a phoenix cannot be born to soar and blaze bright. Continue to let life teach you, test you, and through your own belief, not in a deity but in yourself you will find the rewards life has to grant you.
Despite being oceans apart, and a friendship that spans the years but physically in each others company would not amount to two weeks, I feel ours is a bond unbroken. We know darkness, the darkness of others but the truly frightening darkness, the pitch black void, the reflection we are often too afraid to look at is the darkness in ourselves. We know our soul is tainted, we abhor our existence at times and we tell ourselves that this pain, this curse, this stain like a midnight sky will always be with us, we battle it each day, and it hasn't won yet, though at times we offer ourselves to be swallowed up by it.. but I know and i think you do too, by owning and embracing the darkness we carry, In the blackest corner of our being, a twinkle of a stat can be born, and one day it may even supernova and shine bright, without the darkness one wouldn't be able to admire it's splendour. We need the darkness to keep on going.
I often worry about you Joshie, but know that I never worry FOR you. I know how strong you are, how determined you are, and I am absolute in my conviction that you will keep fighting, I admire you and love you and believe your journey may be a long and it will be challenging... but it will also be worthwhile, and full of wonder.
if you haven't figured out who I am, know you are always my illegitimate son I had in my extremely early youth regardless of our different ethnicity ;-)