Its 12:30 in the morning. And I had sudden this urge to get out of the house and write about something.
I was pretty much wasted and stoned last night. I woke up with such a lethargic feeling so I just decided to sleep the whole day. Yeah, sleep I have been pretty much living a sedentary lifestyle for the past 4 months since I got back from Manila. Prior to that I was in Myanmar, where I snapped this photo of the Shwedagon Pagoda. It has been the most beautiful place I have visited so far. I can feel the spiritual energy around me. The rest of my tour group acted as tourists and just snapped photos all over the place, I on the other hand was no exception. But I stopped to appreciate the architectural brilliance of the place. Its hard to imagine that this temple has existed for over 2000 years. They say that this place is the Buddhist's mecca because it has been believed to have kept a strand of Buddha's hair inside the spire. Its made of pure gold and on top of the spire, lies a 72 karat diamond or was it 76? Meh. As I was walking around the place, It was amazing to see devotees praying and I even witnessed a Buddhist ceremony happening it truly has been a privilege to have seen it.
During my time in Myanmar, I was working as an intern to represent the Philippines for a Filipino food festival. and since that time I was so set in my head that I am going to be a chef. Every time the hotel staff in Myanmar called me "Chef" I thought to myself "I am starting to make it." However, that is a hurdle that is yet to be leaped. Since I moved back to Cebu in 2011, I only have one goal and that is to work as a chef. Circumstances lead to another and it seems that fate has not been on my side, nor is luck.
Fate has its way of kicking us out of a running vehicle into a crossroads and it seems that it comes at a most vulnerable time in your life. Although it doesn't really apply to everyone. Is fate even real? Is fate even a part of our everyday choices? Does fate really decide who or what we become? What if, we could all go back to the start and do the exact opposite of what we did growing up. Will it makes our lives better or worse?
There have been numerous times that I question the actions I took 2 years ago and really evaluate the decisions I have made because it seems that I am now back to where I was when I left off. I know that I sound like a broken record repeating these thoughts in my head but it seems that my mind and my heart only has a one sided vision of the path that I want to take.
Do you know the feeling of taking too much pride on "something" only to lie about it at the end of the day because that's how you want people to perceive you, yet you have only achieved a small portion that "something"? Which brings me to the question, how effective is the Law of attraction? How powerful is a person's mind? For some strange reason, does that help your surroundings to pick up on your aura and work to your favor?
Time doesn't stop and I feel like I have wasted a good portion of it. April is just lurking around the corner and it seems that I have accomplished nothing for this year alone. I was in this same situation last year and a friend told me "You still have more than half a year to wait for good things to come". Indeed something good did happen to me in June. Is it going to be the same this year? Or is it going to be different. The only thing I ask from the universe is a sign or even clarity.
I feel like I have opened Pandora's box and released all the evil and negative thoughts in my head, I'm just waiting to see If I could get a hold of that single spark of hope that is at the bottom of the box. It's hard to hold on to something when you feel like you have come to a dead end. I'm confused to how I am going to go through that wall, at this point I have 3 options. (1) Climb over the wall. (2) Find a way to break the wall or (3) Wish that I had Shadowcat's mutant power and just phase through the wall.
8 more months...
I was pretty much wasted and stoned last night. I woke up with such a lethargic feeling so I just decided to sleep the whole day. Yeah, sleep I have been pretty much living a sedentary lifestyle for the past 4 months since I got back from Manila. Prior to that I was in Myanmar, where I snapped this photo of the Shwedagon Pagoda. It has been the most beautiful place I have visited so far. I can feel the spiritual energy around me. The rest of my tour group acted as tourists and just snapped photos all over the place, I on the other hand was no exception. But I stopped to appreciate the architectural brilliance of the place. Its hard to imagine that this temple has existed for over 2000 years. They say that this place is the Buddhist's mecca because it has been believed to have kept a strand of Buddha's hair inside the spire. Its made of pure gold and on top of the spire, lies a 72 karat diamond or was it 76? Meh. As I was walking around the place, It was amazing to see devotees praying and I even witnessed a Buddhist ceremony happening it truly has been a privilege to have seen it.
During my time in Myanmar, I was working as an intern to represent the Philippines for a Filipino food festival. and since that time I was so set in my head that I am going to be a chef. Every time the hotel staff in Myanmar called me "Chef" I thought to myself "I am starting to make it." However, that is a hurdle that is yet to be leaped. Since I moved back to Cebu in 2011, I only have one goal and that is to work as a chef. Circumstances lead to another and it seems that fate has not been on my side, nor is luck.
Fate has its way of kicking us out of a running vehicle into a crossroads and it seems that it comes at a most vulnerable time in your life. Although it doesn't really apply to everyone. Is fate even real? Is fate even a part of our everyday choices? Does fate really decide who or what we become? What if, we could all go back to the start and do the exact opposite of what we did growing up. Will it makes our lives better or worse?
There have been numerous times that I question the actions I took 2 years ago and really evaluate the decisions I have made because it seems that I am now back to where I was when I left off. I know that I sound like a broken record repeating these thoughts in my head but it seems that my mind and my heart only has a one sided vision of the path that I want to take.
Do you know the feeling of taking too much pride on "something" only to lie about it at the end of the day because that's how you want people to perceive you, yet you have only achieved a small portion that "something"? Which brings me to the question, how effective is the Law of attraction? How powerful is a person's mind? For some strange reason, does that help your surroundings to pick up on your aura and work to your favor?
Time doesn't stop and I feel like I have wasted a good portion of it. April is just lurking around the corner and it seems that I have accomplished nothing for this year alone. I was in this same situation last year and a friend told me "You still have more than half a year to wait for good things to come". Indeed something good did happen to me in June. Is it going to be the same this year? Or is it going to be different. The only thing I ask from the universe is a sign or even clarity.
I feel like I have opened Pandora's box and released all the evil and negative thoughts in my head, I'm just waiting to see If I could get a hold of that single spark of hope that is at the bottom of the box. It's hard to hold on to something when you feel like you have come to a dead end. I'm confused to how I am going to go through that wall, at this point I have 3 options. (1) Climb over the wall. (2) Find a way to break the wall or (3) Wish that I had Shadowcat's mutant power and just phase through the wall.
8 more months...
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